Just Take Me As I Am

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I Can Only Be Me. This Is Me: I am a fifty-two old woman who has discovered she likes Sci-Fi , she loves her kinky hair, and eccentricity.  She knows everybody reading this post is so much more than people say we are.

I Don’t Know Why They Say Things About Me

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Most of the time, I try not to hurt people. For the most part I keep to myself.  So why do “they” say negative things about me?

I pasted and copied this list from the “Thought Catalog.”

1. People have an incredible propensity to hold within them a beast of jealousy that, now again, they cannot control. The things that unleash this monster are what they don’t have and can’t be. They will try to devalue you by any means possible. It’s best to just take it as an indicator that you have something worth having or you are someone worth envying.  Why would anyone be jealous of me? I’m poor, and drive an old car. 

2. The only effect it can have on you is however much you let yourself believe it’s true. The opinions of others only change you if you let them. If you weren’t somehow made aware of them, you’d have no idea anyway. You cannot, and will never be able to control how other people think, feel or behave. Nor should you try. You can, however, decide to what extent you are going to let them change who you are.   Sigh. I’m trying. For some reason what people say continues to upset me.

3. The only person something needs to matter to is you. If it is in your life, and you are the person who is choosing to experience, live or attempt it, it is not the concern of anyone else. I know it’s difficult when people are firing insults at you and it’s really hurting, but this, my friends, is just life.  I think this happens to me much more than others.

4. We tend to take one thing someone says and spiral, assuming the absolute worst about ourselves. Don’t go down the rabbit hole.  I’m in a rabbit hole? How do I climb out?

5. They’re criticizing themselves more than anything. I’ve found this to be tried and true. The things that irritate us most are the things we like about ourselves. So you have to realize that someone disliking you or having a negative opinion most likely has a lot more to do with them than you. Ok.

6. The idea that you will one day reach a place where you are universally liked and accepted is a delusional fantasy. You have to accept that that will never be reality. More importantly, you have not failed because people have differing opinions about you or something you do. It’s just the fact that you probably assumed otherwise. I can see this is true.

7. It will not matter eventually. Think about the things you struggled with 5 years ago, and now irrelevant they are… if you can even remember them at all. The same concept applies to the future. It’s just a poor use of your energy and will do nothing but compromise the time you have now. I see and agree.

8. Many great people and ideas were harshly criticized and unacknowledged initially. Sometimes you just have to give people some time to catch up. Most people are really put off by change or anything that disrupts the flow they are used to. It’s okay, we all need some adjustment time. That’s what I’ve heard.

9. If someone takes the time to talk about you, or express an opinion about you even when it’s not favorable, you are someone worth talking about. You’ve done something that has gotten their attention. You’re not irrelevant, you’re not worthless. You have, in your own small way, joined the ranks of those who are influential enough to elicit a response from people. Be proud of yourself. Take it as it comes. Don’t apply a connotation to it. Just let it be. I must be special, very special.

10. Nobody who really loves you will love you less if they hear and/or even agree with that opinion. Isn’t that what scares us most? That we’ll lose what we most value in life… in many cases, the love of those who matter? But the people who are worth keeping around will not be affected by other people’s harsh words. They won’t. They’ll love you regardless of flaw or criticism. TC Mark I’m tired of the whole damn thing.

Quote For The Day

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“Security, assurance, strength; I must find within myself.
I will never find it, for long, anywhere else.” Radical Hope

Quote For Today

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“Maybe your weird is my normal. Who’s to say?”   Nicki Minaj


Mixed Race by Jayne Olorunda

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I am Northern Irish, but I am also black and this is not a comfortable position to be in, at times it has felt like a disastrous combination. My story came to public attention when I wrote ‘Legacy’ a book about my families experiences in Northern Ireland. It documents the difficulties we faced with identity and of course the sometimes impossible realities of assimilation. I was born and bred in Northern Ireland and I imagine that I am among a small handful of people of colour who can say that. It is sad that even now in my thirties black faces in Northern Ireland still stand out in the crowd. As such we have become targets to those elements in our society determined to keep their society white, those intent on living in bitterness.”

Read Whole Article Here on Mixed Race Family.

the secret vaults of heaven

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Originally posted on Miss Rosen:

Olmec head, San Lorenzo, Mexico, circa 1946

Olmec head, San Lorenzo, Mexico, circa 1946

With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon,
who could not be happy?
~Oscar Wilde

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Understanding and Identifying Dissociation in Children and Adults

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Another excellent article explaining dissociation.

Originally posted on Hope for Survivors of Abuse:

Link to "Information for Survivors of Sexual Violence - Dissociation"

Link to “Information for Survivors of Sexual Violence – Dissociation”

Hidden Hurt explains how dissociation occurs in children:

The unconscious is like a great holding area or reservoir of unprocessed events. Anything we don’t or can’t assimilate consciously goes there. The unconscious holds irrelevant things such as images of strangers we see on the street. It also holds important things that need to be brought into conscious awareness but may be too big to fit our existing system (conscious mind). There are times when people are unable to fully assimilate the significance of an overwhelming experience such as a car accident. One of the passengers calmly calls an ambulance, administers first aid, and reroutes oncoming traffic. Once the ambulance arrives, she falls apart and cries hysterically. In order to take care of the immediate priorities, she dissociated her feelings and emotions temporarily. The dissociation allowed her to break up the…

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