Website: I’m getting bullied. The website features personal stories of bullying written by people who have been bullied.
I’ve been bullied as a child and and adult, and actually, I’ve been a bully a few times too. I bullied because I was jealous or wanted to put somebody down in order to build myself up.
I don’t have anything for anyone to be jealous of; I drive an old car, live in an old mobile home, and don’t bother anyone. Seriously, I don’t. I keep to myself because I’m afraid of being attacked, also because I’m introverted. Sometimes my family of origin bully me. Some neighbors try to bully too.
When I went to college it was a nightmare. It was a women’s college and four of the teachers tried to make me feel worthless by making fun of my work in public, and ridiculing me if I made a mistake. One of them was a nun. I felt stupid. I felt I didn’t deserve to be there. And they encouraged my classmates to do the same. The school psychologist and my therapist helped me get out of a class that was making me literally sick with headaches and upset stomach. When I left there I felt frightened and dazed.
I’m still frightened. I think that people are trying to build themselves up by putting me down and because I am quiet, poor, and mostly alone, they think I’m an easy target. I guess a lot of people feel bad about themselves. Damn.
Thanks for listening. I feel better. Art, music and books help me to feel better too. I’m going to burn some incense, put on some music, and read Treasure Island.