Yep.  I’ve got three of them.  My older sister S. broke my heart many years ago when she agreed with our mother the incest never took place.  I sort of understood why she did it.   I don’t think she is/was ready to deal with it.   I’ve been angry, resentful, and disappointed in her for many years.

She is a good woman.  She was a good girl.   As a child my mother deliberately isolated us and she would leave me in the crib all day.  S would always come in after school and spend time with me.  A lot of times she was the first person who talked to me that day.  When we were 3 and 8 our mother would send us out to run errands, and we had a lot of fun together.  We didn’t know we were too young to be running the streets of a big city by ourselves.  Those were some of the best times of my childhood.  When she was a teenager she made clothes for my Barbie doll.  My therapist told me there are some people who cannot ever face incest; the knowledge could cause a person to commit suicide. (Therapy is so doggone draining.)  S is going to deal with what happened to us if and when she’s ready.

It’s time to reestablish a relationship with her. Where to start?  I’ll send a card and say I was thinking about her.  Yeah.  That sounds like a good beginning.

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