Today I am taking it easy because yesterday I had a sort of a jolt.

I was gathering up baby pictures of my son yesterday to show to his friend and I found a picture of my birth mother in the bottom of the cabinet.  I had forgotten that the picture was there.  I stared at the picture for a few long minutes.  What I was looking at was a picture of an ordinary looking woman whose hate-filled voice I constantly hear in my mind calling me slut, whore, bitch, worthless, etc.  On the surface it does not seem the picture and the abuse would be connected but they are.

There are no pictures of me as a baby except those taken by a child pornographer sanctioned by the normal looking woman in the picture.