I think I finally understand why elders do not want to tell the younger people in their families about the horrors of the abuse that went on in the past.  Now it is my turn. I need to tell my son some family history and I find myself editing what I am going to say.    I want him to live his own life and not carry the pain of the past with him. I want to protect him.

I really resented my family for not telling me about the past, but now I don’t know how to feel.  After all, I think I’m old enough to hear anything, but do people who are old enough to be my parent think so?  I do not want to keep secrets, but I don’t want to cause someone to hurt or agonize unnecessarily.  Or maybe there is no way to protect the younger people in my family from the pain of what happened in the past.  Damn!

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