Those of you who have or had a normal, decent Dad are so blessed, and you probably know it.  What is normal and decent?  A man who is not intentionally abusive, but  is a human screw-up like most  people.  Now that I am older than my birth father when he was alive I can look back at him and see my life at that time somewhat clearer than I could in the past.  I wanted a Dad oh so badly.  I could have been a fun, delightful daughter.  I can see myself calling my father every week asking for money and advice.  He could have told me about men and how the world worked.  He could have warned and threatened me   He could have disappointed and hurt me, and  I would have forgave him, eventually.  Instead, what I had to deal with was a violent, evil man.  If I could speak to him now I guess I would tell him I was lucky to survive him.

Advertisements