I have always assumed I was just losing my mind. It never occurred to me that I was experiencing complications from Depression. Lately, I have felt as if I were dying, and I think I am. After reading some of the posts of other people who are struggling with some of the same issues that I am, I figured out some of what is going on with me. So please keep writing because it is helpful to me.
It is also helpful to me to put a name to what is ailing me; it’s not that I expect to feel better soon, it feels good to have some understanding of what has been going on with my mind and body for the last ten years! I knew I was suffering from Depression and Dissociation, but I never really understood the effect it was having on my body and the affect on my mind. I went to school and finished a degree in the past few years and it was so very difficult. I could barely think or write, had no short term memory, felt scared and overwhelmed most of the time. Most of the people at the college I went to acted as if I were an idiot. They never even wondered if anything could be wrong. I did get eventually get help after asking for it repeatedly. I already felt like an idiot as a result of remembering abuse and so in a way I let them abuse me. It can be rough out here sometimes.
I found a website that put how I am feeling into words: http://thinkexist.com/quotations/depression/2.html I especially can relate to this poem.
“You know it ain’t easy
|inlovewithj Citizen Cope quotes|
It copied out in large print, but you know my feelings feel huge too, so it is appropriate. I just have to say that even though there have been people who hurt me, there are also those who have befriended and loved me. It really is a mixed bag for me.