By it I mean the time.  Today is my little brother’s birthday.  He is forty-four and I can remember when he was brought home from the hospital.  It does not feel like that much time has gone by and yet it has. 

I still recall when older people would tell me that time would go by fast, that I needed to enjoy my youth while I had it.  I didn’t believe them.

Has the time gone down a bottomless hole never to be retrieved again?  It doesn’t seem that way to me. Because of my dissociation, I have such a hard time being in the present.  I feel like I am always stuck in the past even when I don’t want to be. The past, the good and the bad, is still here with me.  The fact is the past is supposed to be gone, forever, right?