April 11, 2012
Mulla Nasruddin and The Power of Molasses.
At the library I usually look at books in the children section and always find some good stuff. You’re probably wondering what Nasruddin and molasses have in common. I’ll tell you. Nothing. They are the subjects of the two books I found at the library.
The Wise Fool is written by Shahrukh Husain from Pakistan and illustrated by Micha Archer from Massachusetts. The book is a compilation of delightful Islamic fables featuring the wisdom and humor of Mulla Nasruddin. These stories are known and shared in Eastern Europe and the Middle East. I had never heard of them, but I’m glad I did. There are some Mulla Nasruddin jokes on the internet and I want to share them with you:
Nasrudin and his wife were in the house eating their supper. They heard a noise in their compound. Nasrudin took his gun and rushed outside. He saw something white moving near his garden. He raised his gun and shot. When he went close to see what he had shot, he discovered that his wife had washed his best shirt and had hung it on a tree to dry. Just then she came running from the house. “Oh, you unlucky man!” she cried. “You have ruined your best shirt.” “No,” said Nasrudin. “I am the luckiest man on earth. I almost put that shirt on this morning. If I had been wearing the shirt, then surely I would have been killed.”
A young playwright gave a special invitation to Mulla Nasrudin to watch his new play. The Mulla came to the play, but slept through the entire performance. The young playwright was indignant and said, “How could you sleep when you knew how much I wanted your opinion?” “YOUNG MAN,” said Nasrudin, “SLEEP IS AN OPINION.”
Mulla Nasrudin was complaining about the slowness of the bus to the driver. After he couldn’t stand the complaining any longer, the driver said, “If you don’t like it, why don’t you get out and walk?” “I WOULD,” said the Mulla, “BUT MY WIFE IS GOING TO MEET ME AND SHE DOESN’T EXPECT ME UNTIL THIS BUS GETS THERE.”
Once, the people of the city invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a speech. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked “Do you know what I am going to say?” The audience replied “NO”, so he announced “I have no desire to speak to people who don’t even know what I will be talking about” and he left. The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied “YES” So Mullah Nasruddin said, “Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won’t waste any more of your time” and he left. Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question – “Do you know what I am going to say?” Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered “YES” while the other half replied “NO”. So Mullah Nasruddin said “The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half” and he left!
The Illustrations in the book are so beautiful. We give this book ten stars. I don’t want to give it back.
The other book I discovered is The Great Molasses Flood Boston 1919 by Deborah Kops. You’re not going to believe this. Maybe you will. I had a hard time picturing it in my mind.
On January 15, 1919 World War I had ended, a world-wide strain of Influenza had finished working its way through Boston killing six thousand. Prohibition was about to be ratified by the states. A tank with an over two million capacity tank burst, destroying property and taking the lives of twenty-one people.There was so much destruction.
The molasses bent and busted a railroad track.
Located on the north end of Boston where freight trains were loaded, the molasses in the tank was used to make rum. The U.S. Industrial Alcoholic Company wanted to financially benefit from the 13,000 tons of thick syrup it had bought from the Caribbean before alcohol became illegal. The USIA never got the chance to make money off of the rum. Neither did they take responsibility for the explosion. Eventually the USIA was found negligent and had to pay out over a million dollars.
There are many websites about this incident.
http://www.3ammagazine.com/short_stories/non-fict/truetales/molasses.html
http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/historical/a/molasses_flood.htm
http://alum.mit.edu/pages/sliceofmit/2012/04/06/great-molasses-flood/
March 7, 2012
Don’t Wash Away My Scent!
My kid parts resent having to take daily showers. It’s making them always smell like soap, moisturizer, deodorant, powder and perfumed oil. They say it masks over their natural scent. As an older part, I have no idea what my natural scent is. I can identify my husband and son by their distinct scents. Neither can they explain my scent but they say they know it. I also have difficult putting their scents into words. I have agreed to wash up every other day, but I need to have on some deodorant and moisturizer.
April 8, 2011
CHRISTOPHER TITUS I AM NOT A WUSS.
Sometimes I just have to laugh. PROFANITY, TRIGGERS, OFFENSIVE! From 2008.
January 18, 2011
A CHANGE TO MY DIET PART 2
Well, I have found that I cannot afford all the food that the inflammation cure diet suggests, particularly the grains that would replace wheat. Yesterday I forgot to buy oatmeal, so I had to eat some wheat for breakfast today. It has been difficult drinking half a gallon of water, but I have been eating my vegetables. I have found that if I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, there is no room in my stomach for meat. The problem with eating the vegetables is that they cause a lot of gas. Have you read this essay on gas written by Benjamin Franklin in 1781? If you are offended by gas jokes, do not read this. I do feel more energetic. I think this may be the way for me to eat in order to be able to function more efficiently. Now I need to find some exercise that I can do on a regular basis.
TO THE ROYAL ACADEMY OF FARTING By Benjamin Franklin, 1781.
GENTLEMEN,
I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. “Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d�y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnee”. I was glad to find by these following Words, “l�Acadeemie a jugee que cette deecouverte, en eetendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE”, that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis�d greater_Utility.
Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.
That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it.
That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind.
That so retain�d contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself.
Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses.
My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix�d with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes.
That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain�d in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc�d in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water?
For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have pick�d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton�s mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is rack�d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one�s Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. — In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers above-mentioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your “Figure quelconque” and the Figures inscrib�d in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a Farthing.
