November 6, 2011
A Tough Few Days
Lately, some of my kidparts have been coming to the present which is good because I have trying to make this happen, but at the same time I am in so much pain and have a lot of rage and anger, which cannot be helped because what happened to me was scary and horrible, but its hard.
I am depressed and I know it but I don’t know what to do about it. Usually if I go for a walk or book search and listen to music I feel better, but it’s not working this time. Last night I went and saw Sweet Honey in the Rock and they were wonderful. I didn’t want to go because I was feeling so low. Even after seeing those fabulous uplifting women perform I still felt down. Today I am going to spend the day burning lavender incense in bed reading and sleeping. If I don’t feel better tomorrow I’ll call my therapist.
December 23, 2009
No Control is Scary
It is very difficult for the kid part of myself to understand that my dad did not love me, and I did nothing to make it happen. As a kid it made more sense to me that it was my fault. It hurts less when I can blame myself and if feels safer. I feel like I would have had some sort of control over the situation.It is very difficult for the kid part of myself to understand that my dad did not love me, and I did nothing to make it happen. As a kid it made more sense to me that it was my fault. It hurts less when I can blame myself and if feels safer. I feel like I would have had some sort of control over the situation.
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