“You have to endure many things alone, even if you’re sick and crawling. That’s just the way it is.” Paraphrase from a statement by my sister E.
Usually I don’t ask for help unless I’m desperate, but the last few years have been extremely difficult; I lost my psychiatrist, had to endure an abusive professor, and due to a seriously pertinacious depression became suicidal.
I did tell several people about my struggles, but wasn’t believed because I am a very strong woman. Family, friends, and therapist began listening when I started to scream at them about how I felt.
And then sometimes I get the feeling I’ve unintentionally used others when trying to get help.
Once Owen and I lost our health insurance twice in one year due to layoffs. The first layoff I asked for some anti-depression medication from my psychiatrist to get me through two weeks. The second layoff I waited until I was very,very sick from withdrawal to ask for help from our primary care doctor.
Never do this to yourself. You may end up in the emergency room.
As a result I vomited up a significant amount of the medication given to me by the primary doctor. When I asked for a bit more, the doctor said never to ask again. I was too shocked to ask why. I believe he thought I was using him to get free medication. I haven’t seen him for a while, but when I do, I will ask about it.
What I’ve learned is no one owes me anything. I’ve concluded that E. spoke the truth. I decided to lower my dose and save one-third for emergencies. The next time I won’t need to ask anyone for help.
Jan 26, 2013 @ 14:57:57
Hi Hope,
Not surprsingly a family member has told you they won’t be there for you and not to expect it from someone else. While it’s true that we have to do many things alone, being sick and crawling should not be included among those things. Trying to get help does not mean you are using others. We all deserve to be treated with respect, to get our emergency needs met, and that does not mean that we think that someone else owes us something. It means we are a person and deserve to be helped when we need help. I’m sorry that you told when things were hard and were not believed. I can relate to that.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
Jan 26, 2013 @ 17:31:14
I think in the post I made it seem as I never receive help from others. I do. I agree that I should receive help because I am a human being. When I was younger I believed that I would never receive help because my parents taught me I didn’t deserve it, but as I’ve grown older many times I have been denied the help I need, or it is given grudgingly. It shouldn’t be this way, but for me it is. I will continue to ask for help when I need to, but these days I put my energy into doing everything I can to help myself, because I can’t count on others as much as I think I should be able to.
Jan 29, 2013 @ 21:32:15
I think you are wise to put aside some medication for other times. Yes, there are times when we have to do things alone. Thankfully, that is not all the time!
Hugs.
I hope you are doing better now.
Jan 30, 2013 @ 11:03:23
Thanks. Whine. Complain. Now I have the flu.
Jan 31, 2013 @ 13:54:44
Oh, no! Ugh!! Sending lots of sympathy your way. Whine all you want, hon!
Hugs.
Feb 01, 2013 @ 15:12:26
The only good thing that came out of flu is I lost twelve pounds.
Feb 03, 2013 @ 15:01:12
Oh, dear. You do realize that the flu is not the ideal way to lose weight?
Feb 03, 2013 @ 19:57:49
Yeah, it sure isn’t. It’s the only way that I’ve lost weight, but I wouldn’t recommend it! It was awful. I thought I was dying. Couldn’t eat anything for six days. Ended up in the emergency room with other sickies.
Feb 04, 2013 @ 16:10:30
Oh, dear! I hope you are all better now. Don’t overdo…take it easy for a while so you can fully heal.
Hugs.
Feb 04, 2013 @ 21:54:47
I’m cool. How are you doing?
Feb 05, 2013 @ 20:23:30
Pretty much OK. My leg is hurting again, but it is easing up.
Feb 07, 2013 @ 15:43:45
Glad to hear your leg is feeling better.
Feb 07, 2013 @ 18:52:43
Thank you.
Feb 08, 2013 @ 11:01:21
You are very welcome.